how to be a female pick-up artist (pua)

So I've been reading all this shit about PUA this and "new dating game" that. And it sounds like a giant shit-fight between the Silly Assholes (dudes who are are so addicted to their own testosterone they probably snort lines of dried cum off their shorts), the Misguided Sluts (youngish and/or desperate chicks who seem think mindless fucking is a means to liberation/self-worth, as opposed to the result of it), and the Prigs (talking/writing heads who just want everyone married, faithful and procreating already). And no one seems to be aware of the Normal Woman - you know, not too young, not too old; attractive but not necessarily a knock-out; open to a relationship but not desperate for one; loves sex/flirting/the presence of men almost but NOT quite as much as she loves her own dignity and self-respect. Who likes to feel feminine but doesn't like acting like a silly dolt; who likes to be chased but not chaste. You know. The Normal Woman.

The Assholes don't really notice the Normal Woman, because they are pretty much programmed to separate women into Fuckables and Non-Fuckables, and subtler differentiations aren't worth their narrowly targeted energies. The Sluts brazenly railroad over the Normal Women in a pick-up-centric environment (club, bar, etc.) and then cry on their shoulder when their chosen Asshole does the pump-and-dump. And the Prigs don't like to acknowledge that there is such a thing as an intelligent, sexually-discerning woman who doesn't give a fuck about getting married.

But here's the thing - the dating scene (and the world) is FULL of Normal Women. I bet you know several. They're the ones who rarely have morning-after regrets; they're the ones who don't date jerks (although they might fuck them; but why not?); they're the ones who, more often than not, do get a phone call when they give someone their phone number. Normal Women really are capable of maintaining totally platonic friendships with guys; they are also capable of having real friendships with other women, because their sex appeal (and "marketability") is a consequence of their self-esteem, not vice versa. They are sexually active and sexually proactive. They are clever, they are desirable, and they are fun to spend time with - no matter what your intentions toward them are.

There are many Normal Women. That being said, there are probably even more women who are . . . well, almost normal. But, you know, a few neuroses here, a few misconceptions there, and voila, you have the "I just don't GET men!" thing or the "All men are dogs" thing and the whole battle of the sexes business rages on. And, while wrestling and role-play in the bedroom (or fuckspace of choice) is well and good, I'm more into gender harmony on the spiritual level. For the simple reason that it makes fucking a healthier and happier experience for everyone involved.

And we all love a happy, healthy fuck, don't we?

So I am going to attempt to chronicle here the lessons I've learned over the last few years - since I first heard of (male) PUAs and got acquainted with some of their resources. In this entry, I've been using the term Normal Woman instead of Female PUA. This is because I don't believe a (straight) woman can be a PUA in the current male-centered definition; at least, not happily. I absolutely DO believe a woman can have a better, busier sex life by being proactive - but I kinda think that this is achieved by just, you know, being normal. (I may be optimistic :)

I do think I may start using the term FPUA, just 'cause it's shorter and snazzier. We'll see.

Oh, and a caveat: this is by a woman who loves to fuck men, written for women who love to fuck men. I have only a passing acquaintance with the lesbian culture, so, seriously, no friggin clue.

All comments welcomed. Just be nice. Or else I'll erase your mean-spirited little ass and it'll be like you never existed.